Dan Liebert's Pet Peeves

  • Itchy labels on bungee ankle straps so I itch the whole way down
  • People on fire—they're always asking for favors, even if they hardly know you
  • When my opera cape gets caught on homeless people's junk
  • When a woman stands near me and people think her ugly baby is mine and it is
  • See the rest at McSweeney's.